It doesn't cost anything to be nice...

"Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant - Be Nice to People"

At a TD Club meeting many years before his death, Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant told the following story, which was typical of the way he operated.

"I had just been named the new head coach at Alabama and was off in my old car down in South Alabama recruiting a prospect who was supposed to have been a pretty good player, and I was havin' trouble finding the place.

Getting hungry, I spied an old cinder block building with a small sign out front that simply said 'Restaurant.' I pull up, go in and every head in the place turns to stare at me. Seems I'm the only white 'fella' in the place. But the food smelled good, so I skip a table and go up to a cement bar and sit. A big ole man in a tee shirt and cap comes over and says, 'What do you need?' I told him I needed lunch and what did they have today? He says, 'You probably won't like it here, today we're having chitlins, collard greens and black eyed peas with cornbread. I'll bet you don't even know what chitlins are, do you?' I looked him square in the eye and said, 'I'm from Arkansas. I've probably eaten a mile of them. Sounds like I'm in the right place.' They all smiled as he left to serve me up a big plate.

When he comes back he says, 'You ain't from around here, then?' And, I explain I'm the new football coach up in Tuscaloosa at the University and I'm here to find whatever that boy's name was, and he says, 'Yeah I've heard of him, he's supposed to be pretty good.' And, he gives me directions to the school so I can meet him and his coach.

As I'm paying up to leave, I remember my manners and leave a tip, not too big to be flashy, but a good one, and he told me lunch was on him, but I told him for a lunch that good, I felt I should pay.

The big man asked me if I had a photograph or something he could hang up to show I'd been there. I was so new that I didn't have any yet. It really wasn't that big a thing back then to be asked for, but I took a napkin and wrote his name and address on it and told him I'd get him one.

I met the kid I was lookin' for later that afternoon, and I don't remember his name but do remember I didn't think much of him when I met him. I had wasted a day, or so I thought.

When I got back to Tuscaloosa late that night, I took that napkin from my shirt pocket and put it under my keys so I wouldn't forget it. Heck, back then I was excited that anybody would want a picture of me. And, the next day we found a picture, and I wrote on it, 'Thanks for the best lunch I've ever had, Paul Bear Bryant.'

Now, let's go a whole buncha' years down the road. Now we have black players at Alabama, and I'm back down in that part of the country scouting an offensive lineman we sure needed. Y'all remember (and I forget the name, but it's not important to the story), well, anyway, he's got two friends going to Auburn, and he tells me he's got his heart set on Auburn, too, so I leave empty handed and go on to see some others while I'm down there.

Two days later, I'm in my office in Tuscaloosa, and the phone rings, and it's this kid who just turned me down, and he says, 'Coach, do you still want me at Alabama?' And, I said, 'Yes, I sure do.' And, he says, o.k., he'll come. And, I say, 'Well, son, what changed your mind?' And, he said, 'When my grandpa found out that I had a chance to play for you and said no, he pitched a fit and told me I wasn't going nowhere but Alabama and wasn't playing for nobody but you. He thinks a lot of you and has ever since y'all met.'

Well, I didn't know his granddad from Adam's housecat so I asked him who his granddaddy was, and he said, 'You probly don't remember him, but you ate in his restaurant your first year at Alabama, and you sent him a picture that he's had hung in that place ever since. That picture's his pride and joy, and he still tells everybody about the day that Bear Bryant came in and had chitlins with him. My grandpa said that when you left there, he never expected you to remember him or to send him that picture, but you kept your word to him, and to Grandpa, that's everything. He said you could teach me more than football and I had to play for a man like you, so I guess I'm going to.'

I was floored. But, I learned that the lessons my mama taught me were always right. It don't cost nuthin' to be nice. It don't cost nuthin' to do the right thing most of the time, and it costs a lot to lose your good name by breakin' your word to someone. When I went back to sign that boy, I looked up his Grandpa, and he's still running that place, but it looks a lot better now, and he didn't have chitlins that day, but he had some ribs that woulda' made Dreamland proud, and I made sure I posed for a lot of pictures; and don't think I didn't leave some new ones for him, too, along with a signed football. I made it clear to all my assistants to keep this story and these lessons in mind when they're out on the road. And, if you remember anything else from me, remember this - It really doesn't cost anything to be nice, and the rewards can be unimaginable."

Coach Bryant was in the presence of these few gentlemen for only minutes, and he defined himself for life, to these gentlemen, as a nice man.

Regardless of our profession, we do define ourselves by how we treat others and how we behave in the presence of others, and, most of the time, we have only minutes or seconds to leave a lasting impression - we can be rude, crude, arrogant, cantankerous, or we can be nice. Nice is always a better choice.

I like what Stephen Grellet, French/American religious leader (1773-1855), said, "I expect to pass through the world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."

A Matthew Story

Last night Matt (my eight year old) did something that just amazed me. We were sitting on the couch together playing a game. He paused the game and said, "Dad are you sad?" I said, "No, why?" He said, "I just thought you looked sad." I reassured him that I was fine and I wondered why he thought that, but mostly I was just proud of him for being so sensitive, considerate, and empathetic. It made me feel so proud of him.

And if all that wasn't enough, just a moment later he said, "I love you, Dad."

Wow!

Fun Times...

I really enjoyed the times with the boys since Thursday night. That night I gave them the autographed football that Alabama quarterback John Parker Wilson signed earlier in the day for me. I also gave them each the collector's edition of the Tuscaloosa News about the hiring of Coach Nick Saban. They played their new drums for the first time and watched some of the sports news with me. We had ham and blackeyed peas for supper.

Friday night I gave them each the Ronald Steele backpack that I was able to get when I visited the University on Thursday. I brought home two little Caesar's pizzas for supper which were enjoyed by all. We played drums, Xbox, wrestled, and generally had a good time.

Saturday we practiced baseball over at the Vinemont ball field, watched some of the Alabama basketball team's loss to Arkansas, burned branches in the backyard in our burn pile, and did some grocery shopping. After the shopping, David and Joe attempted to make sausage and pancakes for supper. The sausage turned out fine, but they ended up asking for my help with the pancakes. We learned that it's impossible to make an edible pancake if the batter is only slightly thicker than water.

Saturday night we watched the movie, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" on VH1. The boys had not seen it before. They enjoyed watching this bit of 1980's fun every bit as much as I did. We started to watch M*A*S*H, but about an hour into the show, around midnight, I realized that we were watching the final episode that was over two hours long. They were disappointed, but I made the decision that we needed to get to bed or we wouldn't feel like getting up in time for church in the morning.

Today we did get up in time for church and went to the 10:45 a.m. service at Northbrook. We stopped at Wendy's for a burger for lunch. We drove home in the middle of a torrential downpour. We played Xbox games such as bowling, baseball, racing, and basketball. The boys drummed and David played his CD's and Joe shot his bb gun out in the yard after the rain ended. As usual, I think I did a pretty good job spending focused time with all three boys as well as some quality on-on-one time.

Since I don't have them all of the time plus the fact that these days pass so quickly and will never come again, I try to really focus on them and appreciate these moments in time.

President Gerald R. Ford

Former President Ford, our 38th President, died a week ago at age 93. Today he was eulogized by President Bush, Former President Bush, Former secretary of State Henry Kissinger, and former NBC Nightly News anchor Tom Brokaw. He was also eulogized by Vice President Cheney during the "State Funeral" last weekend. All of these were insightful and interesting.

Here are the transcripts:

George H.W. Bush

President Bush

Tom Brokaw

Henry Kissinger

This summer my boys and I were in Grand Rapids the day after Ford's 93rd birthday. We visited and were impressed with the Ford Museum.

Got the tee-shirt...

My sister treated me to a little taste of Alabama in Chicago on Saturday December 23, 2006. We ate at the Houndstooth Saloon. I had the buffalo wings, which were superb. I also sampled my sister's pulled pork barbecue sandwich and fried potatoes, which were also good, but definitely prepared in the midwestern style. We discussed the possibility of me flying up next year to watch a Bama game with her there. If you are a Tide fan who finds yourself in Chicago, it is just a few blocks south of Wrigley Field on Clark Street.

Christmas and Living Like You are Dying

My three sons, my parents, and my sister all spent Christmas and the following days together in Huntsville. As always we had a tremendous time together. Christmas evening Mom made the traditional meal: turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, fruit salad, and cake. After supper we exchanged gifts.

My sister was in Huntsville until Thursday, so all six of us were together Monday through Thursday. I can probably count on one hand the number of days each year that our entire family is together in one place at one time. Because of that, this is definitely one of the best times of the year. My parents are 76 and 74. The last few years I have started thinking quite a bit about the possibility that they could pass away at any time.

It is so easy to get caught in the trap of thinking that things "will always be this way". I have celebrated Christmas with my parents 41 years in a row; 35 of those have been in the same house in Northeast Huntsville, at the foot of Monte Sano. It is only natural to think this will continue. The reality we all must face, though, is that it will certainly not always be like this.

I may never see either of my parents alive again. The same can be said, though perhaps it is less likely, regarding my sister or my sons. It is also possible that they may never see me again. I am not trying to sound overly maudlin or pessimistic. It's just that we need to consider these realities in order to live better quality lives.

If someone out there happens to read this post, my hope is that you pause and think about these things in your own life. These thoughts, in and of themselves, are most unpleasant and not something that should be dwelt upon. Nevertheless, they are real and we need to reach out more to those we love.

Here's a song by Tim McGraw that sums it all up...

Live Like You Weere Dying

He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do

and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again

and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it'

Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying

'Twas the Weekend Before Christmas

Friday December 22 I drove to Chicago. I left Vinemont at 8 o'clock sharp and exactly 642 miles later, at 5:40 p.m., I arrived at my sister's place on the north side. I spent Friday night and Saturday in Chicago with my sister before driving back to Alabama with her on Sunday. Other that wanting to visit her, one of the original reasons for this brief trip was because she has a nice drum set that she wanted to give the boys for Christmas but we had no other way of getting it to Alabama.

My sister and I had a great visit. Friday night we played Trivial Pursuit and listened to Christmas music. My sister has the Rhaposdy music service on her computer and we eventually made up a really fun game of name that artist. We would alternate playing a song that we looked up and the other persson had to guess the artist. We had so much fun doing this that we stayed up until 3 a.m. doing it, despite the fact that I had driven 642 miles for 9 hours and 42 minutes. The surge of caffeine left in my body from the drive probably didn't hurt either!

Saturday we actually slept in a little bit. After that we did a little Christmas shopping and ate at the Houndstooth Saloon, just down Clark Street from Wrigley Field. My sister bought my meal. The buffalo wings were great! That was a cool experience; a little taste of Alabama in the Windy City. After shopping, I wrapped presents and loaded the drums and the rest of the stuff in the car. We ended up staying up too late again playing muical trivia using Rhapsody.

Sunday we drove back to Alabama, We left at 9:15, stopped very little, and arrived in Alabama after 6 p.m. Christmas eve we hung out with Mom and Dad and looked forward to Christmas with the boys.

Lately...

I don't know if it's writer's block, stress, or what, but I haven't felt as inspired as usual to update some of my blogs, including this one. I have kept up with my weather blog. The weather geek in me has really enjoyed the fog that we have seen in North Alabama during the past week.

I haven't updated the Alabama Crimson Tide Blog and the coach search seems to have been suspended pending the end of the NFL regular season and the college bowl games. The current thinking is that Alabama hasn't given up on Nick Saban (the Great Saban) of the Miami Dolphins. We'll see.

I have missed the boys. They have been with their Mom since last Friday. Last Thursday night I let them open some of their presents because I probably won't see them until Christmas day. I have never been outspoken about anything personal on this blog before, and I will not start now. Suffice it to say that I have been having trouble spending much time with the boys lately, whether it be on the phone or in person. Without going into the gory details, that is sad and wrong. I can't wait until Christmas!

Prattville 35 Hoover 21

Saturday afternoon I took the boys to Legion Field in Birmingham to see the 6A high school football championship game in which Prattville defeated Hollywood High (aka Hoover High) 35-21. Hollywood High was on one of Prattville's signs, obviously referring to Hoover's numerous appearances on MTV and CMT on the show, "Two-a Day's".

The best part of it all for me was telling the boys about my memories of the "old gray lady", Legion Field. The first time I saw a game in Legion Field was 10/25/75 with my Dad when we saw Bear Bryant's Crimson Tide defeat the TCU Horned Frogs 45-0. I saw many Bama games there through the years. The most notable was the 1985 Iron Bowl, when Van Tiffin kicked a 52-yard field goal to beat Auburn. Another one that stood out was Alabama's 1986 defeat of Notre Dame, which was immortalized in Daniel Moore's painting of "The Sack".

Blog Roundup...

I have been unusually busy with my other blogs during the time I spend on blogging so I haven't written much of substance here in a while. If you are looking for substance you won't get it here today either. My boys are sleeping in but they are about to wake up.

We went to the rodeo last night. The boys, especially Joe, talked me into taking them. I was tired and had no natural inclination to go to a rodeo. But, as usual when I try new things, I enjoyed it. I think the thing I enjoyed about it the most was watching the boys have fun. Things like: Matt laughing his head off at the clown's antics, Joe's description and analysis of the animals and riders, and watching David take pictures. There were a couple of little girls behind us that were Matt's age, who, while watching the cowboy tie up the calfs' legs said, "Awwww...don't hurt him." We thought that was cute and funny.

One thing about the rodeo, it is definitely not the place to go if you are caught up in political correctness or animal rights. The boys and I had good time, though.

---


Two weeks ago we visited my parents and the boys and I must have gotten rid of a few million leaves. I climbed up on the house and cleaned out the gutters. I used to love doing that when I was in my teens and twenties. I didn't mind doing it in my 30's. Now that I am in my 40's I think my days of getting on the roof are numbered. My parens' house is a split level house. It is amazing how the human mind works. I do not mind being close to the edge on the lower level very much. But being close to the edge on the second level, especially the part above the driveway, freaks me out. The view is awesome up there, though. David and Joe wanted up there so badly but being the protective parent that I am I told them they would have to wait a few years. I do have a photo of myself, when I was about David's age, of me on the roof painting. Maybe they can take over when I am too old!

Tonight with the boys

David helped me cook. Actually he practically did it all, making macaroni and cheese and blackeyed peas. He and I ate some shrimp with cocktail sauce. Matt and Joe tried it again but were not too impressed. We watched two interesting shows on the National Geographic Channel. The first one was about the USS Ronald Reagan aircraft carrier. The second program was about the man-made palm islands being created in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. We also talked to my sister on the phone.

Where I've Been...

You can go to this site and plot all of the states you have visited. Pretty cool.

Thanksgiving weekend

It was a great Thanksgiving weekend. The weather did not hurt, with highs around 70 all four days. On Thursday I ate a wonderful meal with my mom and dad. She made turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, dressing, and corn. She also made my favorite traditional strawberry gelatin cake.

Friday I hung out with my dad before going out to get some photos developed. I went to four places and wasted most of my afternoon before I finally found a place that had a machine that worked. That evening I got the boys and we ate and took it easy.

Saturday we watched the Clemson-South Carolina game with my dad and then we spent most of the afternoon playing football down at the park. During the evening the boys played cars, worked on their baseball cards and we watched a little football and basketball on TV. Before bed, I read some out of my old journals to David and Joe. They were pretty entertained by that and seemed quite interested. Especially the story about sleeping in class.

Today we spent most of the day working outside. We raked, blew leaves, mowed leaves, got leaves off of the patio cover, and I climbed up on the roof to clean out the gutters. I'm nearly too old to be climbing up on that roof, but not quite. Or as football broadcaster Lee Corso would say, "Not so fast, my friend!"

We got a lot done and then we watched the end of the Bears game with my dad. My mom made us a good meal. We had David's favorite macoroni and cheese, green beans, and hamburgers. We had our choice of mom's fruit salad, cookies, ice cream or strawberry cake for dessert. It was great. Now it's getting late and we are getting ready to go home. Thanks, Lord, for a wonderful time with a wonderful family.

Kica

This is the sweet kitten that travelled from Vinemont to Huntsville to Cincinnatti to Detroit to Chicago last July.

My sister has given "Kica" a good home.

Sad News From Lee High

Yesterday a school bus carrying Lee High School students tumbled off the I-565 overpass near Church Street in Huntsville. As of now, four students have died and over 30 others were injured. This story made national and world news. It struck close to home with me, as I graduated from Lee. I can't imagine the anguish of these students' families and friends.

4th teen dies from injuries in Huntsville bus wreck

Special Report from al.com

Crystal Renee McCrary, 17
Christine Collier, 16, a sophomore
Nicole Ford, 19, a senior
Tanesha Hill, 17, a senior

---

Class of 83

Frosty Morning

The low was 25.6 here in Vinemont in northern Cullman County with frost.

Election Night - Local

The best part of this election night to me was the election of attorney Shelly Waters the District Judge in Morgan County. I have worked with her for over 10 years and she will prove to be an effective judge.

Here are a couple of articles:

Child support group honors Waters

Waters keeping position as district court judge

Election Night

On the National scene, the Democrat Party has regained control of the House of Representatives for the first time in 12 years. It also appears likely that they will regain control of the Senate, but that has not been confirmed as of this moment. This represents a significant change. Liberals in Congress will not allow Bush’s tax cuts to remain in place. Get ready for your taxes to go up. The President’s judicial nominees will stand no chance unless they are moderate to liberal. The Iraq policy and War on Terror will not be conducted the same way.

Either the President will compromise his principals so that he can get along with the Democrats and pass legislation or there will be gridlock. Gridlock is not always bad, but when it comes to national security issues, social issues, or taxes, gridlock may be very dangerous for the country.

So, why did the Republicans lose so much ground? It wasn’t the economy. Ethics is the first reason. Duncan Hunter, Tom Delay, and Mark Foley were poster children for the "Culture of Corruption" as Democrats called Republicans during the campaign. Many who lost races were guilty by association. The spineless Republican leadership (Hastert) repeatedly swept scandals under the rug, only to see the media and Democrats expose them later and blow them up in their faces right before the election. Another reason, somewhat related to ethics, is that they forgot why they were in office in the first place. What started as a conservative revolution in 1994 turned in to pack of wild spending RINO’s (Republicans in Name Only) by 2006.

Many pundits are trying to blame the President’s Iraq policy and defense policies. I honestly do not think this played as large of a role as many are claiming. How else can you explain why a pro-war Democrat (Lieberman) won and an anti-war Republican (Chafee) lost. Remember most of the new seats that were captured by Democrats were captured by conservative or moderate Democrats such as Jim Webb in Virginia or Tester in Montana. Just enough ‘Values voters’ in many of these races saw more to like in the Democrat candidates.

The problem for the President is that these "blue dog" moderate to conservative Democrats won’t be in positions of leadership. They probably feel as if they owe their election to Pelosi, Kennedy, Biden, Waxman, and other liberals will be calling the shots. Perhaps Republicans will learn that in most of the country, principled conservatism will still win in 2008. In 2006 voters decided that they might find that better in some new moderate Democrats.

Give It Away

I love this song by George Strait...especially the last verse...

She was stormin' through the house that day,
An' I could tell she was leavin'.
An' I thought: "Aw, she'll be back,"
Till she turned around an' pointed at the wall an said:

"That picture from our honeymoon,
"That night in Frisco Bay:
"Just give it away."
She said: "Give it away."
"An' that big four-poster king-size bed,
"Where so much love was made:
"Just give it away."
She said: "Just give it away."

"Just give it away.
"There ain't nothin' in this house worth fightin' over.
"Oh, an' we're both tired of fightin' anyway,
"So just give it away."

So I tried to move on,
But I found that each woman I held,
Just reminded me of that day.
Hmmm.

When that front door swung wide open,
She flung her diamond ring:
Said: "Give it away."
"Just give it away."
An' I said: "Now, honey, don't you even want,
"Your half of everything."
She said: "Give it away."
Just give it away.

Just give it away.
There ain't nothin' in this house worth fightin' over.
Oh, an' we're both tired of fightin' anyway,
So just give it away.

So I'm still right here where she left me,
Along with all the other things,
She don't care about anymore.
Mmmm.

Like that picture from our honeymoon,
That night in Frisco Bay:
She said: "Give it away."
Well, I can't give it away.
An' that big four-poster king-size bed,
Where all our love was made:
She said: "Give it away."
Well, I can't give it away.

I've got a furnished house, a diamond ring,
An' a lonely broken heart,
Full of love,
An' I can't even give it away.

Guilty!

Saddam, two others, sentenced to death