Another thing I got via email....
To All My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
To My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
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2 comments:
I love that!
Of course, in fairness, the Republican greeting would probably sound like this:
I'm here to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. But are you sure that's all you want this holiday season? Is there something missing that you just can't put your finger on but you know will connect you to the true meaning of Christmas? Well, I know the answer: It's buying more stuff you don't need! You say you can't afford it? No problem! You'll make no payments until January 2009! Not only will you experience the Spirit of Giving(TM), you'll also show your pride in being a True American(TM) by shoring up Our Nation(TM)'s economy with fake sales numbers! But wait! There's more! Act now and you'll receive a gorgeous simulated crystal replica of the Baby Jesus(TM) blowing out the festive candle on His first birthday cake. It's free with each wish! So, if you really love Jesus, accept this wish now and make 2008 the year you supported The True Meaning of Christmas(TM) and postponed your debt! Operators are standing by.
* Greeting not applicable outside the continental U.S. They're all commies anyway. Receipt of wish implies your order for additional replica nativity figures to be automatically delivered to you monthly in perpetuity for the amazing low price of $39.99 each. Wish subject to documentation fees and any other purely fictional markups we can imagine. Wishee assumes all responsibility for any harm caused by the wish and waives rights to any future hard feelings against the wisher regardless of what he actually does to you.
Sharp....That was great! Was that a Sharp original? If so, it needs to be on your blog!
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