Wednesday, October 24, 2007

It will be o.k.......

People can say anything they want on a blog. How many times do people bare their soul to the world? I will say something I thought that I would never blog about.

I tried to be a friend and love someone for almost seven years. She was a gem, in many ways. No one has prayed for me more times than she did.

I was deeply hurt by her lies and mental illness two years ago. Though I haven't officially dated her since then, she reappeared and requested forgiveness....friendship....love.....and even mentioned marriage. Forgiveness was easy, but....

I was cautious. I was reserved. But, deep down in my heart, I was in love. But I was a bit scared to express it.

I want God's will to be done in my life!

I was betrayed and lied to.

I was hurt again.

I still love, but.........

....Today I stood up for the first time in my life and said, "Please do not call me again. Please do not come back in three months and tell me you made a mistake."

Then I said....there is ONE exception....if this guy threatens you or harms you in any way, do not hesitate to call me. Run. Call. I will rescue you and beat the crap out of him if I have to to protect you.

Response: You are so sweet. Thank you.

Me: I do not want that to happen and I don't think it will, so, I hope you don't call me again, because I can't handle it. I wish I could talk to you but I can't handle the pain any more.

Unorthodox end to a relationship:
I "prayed through" with her over the phone. Then, my last words to this awesome person that I will never forget......................


















I love you, S_ _ _ _ n

The last call began at 6:10 and lasted 85 minutes and 52 seconds....

I hope R _ _ _ _ t has better luck than I, is what I am thinking now.

Having said all of that, I thank God for all the awesome, good things that happened to me because of her during these years.

Frankly, she has made a mistake. Not because she rejected me. She has stopped living her life (by her own admission) the way the Lord would have her live.

Please pray for my friend.

This post only touches the surface of what I have been going through for years.

I have a couple of GREAT friends who may read this. I thank God for you! You should know who you are! Please pray for me!

Her favorite thing for me to say...

"It will be o.k."....

I cannot regret giving all I had to someone, despite the rejection, for so long.

I wish I had the time to blog about the blessings and the fun I have had because of this special person.

I could focus on some hellacious negatives, but they are overwhelmed by the blessings. I wish her nothing but the best. How many people break up and their last words to each other are "I love you."?

Can a person be too patient?

I didn't respond to her needs. Another guy played on her vulnerabilities. I treated her as a friend and was fair, respectful, and honest.

Why do nice guys finish last?

I hold out faith that the Lord used this time to draw me closer, teach me lessons, and help me mature. I need to heal but life is not over.

I will focus on being a good Dad for David, Joe, and Matt. I will focus on being a good son for Marty and Dorothy. I will try to be a good brother to Cara. I will try to be a good friend to those who have meant so much to me for so long. I will try to be a good employee.

Most of all, I will try to please my Lord and Saviour, Jesus.

And He WILL take care of me.

4 comments:

Dewdrop said...

You're right. It will be OK. You will get through this and be better and stronger. Good guys don't finish last, Mike. Good guys deserve people worthy of them. God is preparing you for that. Way to stand up for yourself against S___n. I am proud of you and KNOW how hard that was. I will pray for peace for you.

Mike Wilhelm said...

Muchas gracias, Dewdrop! I appreciate your encouragement.

Sharp said...

I know that must have been tough, Mike. I can't say I'm not relieved to hear there's some cloure to all of that, though. I'm glad you were strong because it's VERY hard not to hang on to someone you were madly in love with for so long. You've enumerated all the right priorities, though. We'll be praying for you.

Mike Wilhelm said...

I can't tell you how much I appreciate that Sharp!