Problems

The boys and I have had some really good times during the past few days. However, I had some major respect, obedience, and compliance issues with one of my children (who shall remain nameless on this blog) on Saturday morning that resulted in a lot of tears and hurt feelings for both of us.

I try to be patient, but there are times, in my opinion, that a parent needs to "draw a line in the sand" and warn a child that there will be consequences for crossing that line. I am also of the opinion that our standards as Christian parents should be fairly high when it comes to expectations about respect, obedience, and honor.

Furthermore, once consequences are clearly communicated, they must be carried out or there is no point in having any expectations in the first place. These issues can be especially difficult for those of us who are single parents.

Well, that is what happened yesterday morning. The child in question was either unable or unwilling to accept responsibility for his own actions. He blamed his punishment on me saying that I was showing favoritism to his brothers. At another point he claimed that it occured because he thought that I "liked" doing it.

It would have been clear to anyone, except him, that I did not like doing it at all. If I made a mistake, it was that I was too patient in that I kept pushing the line of expectations back. I should have issued a warning sooner regarding consequences and carried them out earlier. Part of the reason I didn't do that is that I do NOT like punishing my children! Like any good parent, I want them to be happy and blessed.

I also want to debunk the idea that I like (or love) any of them more than the other. Once again, I find that impossible to do. I go out of my way to avoid that being not only a reality, but also a perception. It may sound like a cliche', but they are all unique, special, and lovable in their own ways. No, I don't like everything they do and say, but I love them all the same.

I think that the reason he blamed his punishment on me is that he did not want to face up to his own issues. He did not want to admit to himself, much less me, that he was in the wrong. There is nothing too unusual about that.

I think we all as humans are born with a difficulty in accepting that we are at fault and deserving of consequences for our actions. Those who learn the importance of that type of humility and develop it will find the balanced and honest views of ourselves that will allow us to be in a position to be blessed.

As a matter of fact, that is the whole basis of Christianity; admitting that we are sinners in need of a savior. I pray for my childrent that they will all grow and develop in this area of Godly humility. For that matter, I hope to grow in that as well!

The good news was that we all overcame the difficulties. We prayed, read some Bible verses, and enjoyed a great Saturday together. And when the day was over, there was plenty of love, hugs, and kisses to go around.